Not feeling quite so desperate...

Thank God, because HELLO, I sounded kinda scary last night. I am thinking one of my girlfriends even tried to call me at midnight, after reading it. But by midnight I'd been asleep for at least an hour (also, THANK GOD). I am still totally exhausted today, but I couldn't nap - I kept thinking that there is laundry waiting and a client's empty chart needing updating. That's what I ended up doing, along with watching the only two episodes of Project Runway that I hadn't seen yet - so I'm still feeling tired, but accomplished!

Anyway, today has been quite a bit more cheery. Big plus - Husband is OFF tomorrow. Yea military and weird postal holidays like Columbus Day! I think we'll go to the zoo (read: the train outside the zoo, everything else is optional), and tonight we are totally going out for dinner. This is way against my rules, I mean this will be the, like, fourth time eating out since lunch on Friday, but I think I deserve a night off after yesterday. And nothing we have sounds good to me, especially leftovers, which is definitely all I'm up to fixing.

I think David got the hint last night. Namely, that if he doesn't be more cooperative, mommy will lose her marbles and have to be committed and not be able to give hugs and read books anymore. So today he has been a little angel. We've played trains and colored and even gone to church without incident. AND he's not even watching TV so I can blog - he's looking through all the Christmas toy catalogs we got in the mail the other day. He's also circling the things he likes (I taught him that). I think this is a genius way to figure out what to get, and I can even make him a wish list and email it to the fam. GENIUS. The best part of all this, though, is two-fold. 1) he yells out "Mommy, I need that _______" (which is airport at the moment) about every 12 seconds (wait a minute, AIRPORT? - oh it's called "jumbo jet playset"), and 2) when he sits on the potty he TAKES THE CATALOGS WITH HIM!! Clearly, men are born with that gene.

NOTE: Even though he takes the catalogs, he still does not actually poop in the toilet. When he claims he's done, I put on a pull-up and he goes in the family room, crouches between the chair and ottoman and poops, of course still with catalogs in hand.

Mommyhood gone sour

This is one of those times on the motherhood journey that I hold my head in my hands, cry, and wonder where I went wrong. Between the unsuccessful potty training (no, he still does not poop in the toilet) and now extreme defiance, I am going to lose my mind. I just heard him come out of his room for the SEVENTH time tonight. NOTHING works. Not being nice, being mean, time out, spanking, yelling, no books, NOTHING.

I have run out of ways to coerce, cajole, encourage AND punish. I am at my wits end. I don't want to try new things (and I realize that this is my stubborn side). I am just tired, I have a headache.

Just today we had two knock down drag out show downs. The first was this afternoon. I picked him up from the neighbor's house after attending another neighbor's baby shower, and instead of being cooperative about putting his shoes on to go to the car, he was difficult, so I gave up. Then he says he wants his shoes on, but I say too late, and he immediately starts screaming bloody murder. And when I say screaming, I mean, so blood curdling that I wonder if the whole neighborhood thinks I'm beating him.

We go out to the car, and at this point I have not strapped him into his seat because we are going one street over to our house. However, I end up having to shove him into his seat and buckle only the bottom part of the car seat straps because I am only strong enough to get that part with his screaming, hitting and arching his back. Only when he's strapped in is it safe for me to drive. That way he can't hit at me and grab at the steering wheel.

One minute later as we pull into our garage, he is still screaming at the top of his lungs (still telling me he's stopped crying and to put his shoes on him - HA). I go in to chill out (leaving the car/AC on because it is South TX and at least 90 degrees). When I come back out about one minute later, he is still screaming, but I need to turn off the car and bring him in. So, I proceed, but now he screams that he doesn't want to get out of the car. Seriously. So we get in the house by my carrying him and he attempts to get out the garage door. So I have to hold it closed - he can work the locks. All the while he is hitting at me and now kicking me. PLEASANT.

So, I tell him we are going up to the playroom to chill out. We go upstairs (me still transporting him by carrying him under my right arm so as not to be mauled on the way). I finally have to sit on him and hold down his arms until he finally stops screaming and crying. He won't stay in any one place otherwise, and if I let him go he throws things at me and the walls. And I have read that it is not a good idea to make the bedroom a place of punishment.

I have a bad temper, but I can't say I've ever done anything like this. I just slam doors. And of course he's already picked up that habit too. GREAT.

I am definitely not the best example of keeping cool when things aren't going the way I'd hoped, but I'm guessing that David has caught on and taken that to an extreme (clearly that's what happens with two-year-olds).

The second show down is still in progress and I'm definitely losing.

Oh my heavens. He's in my room again, and now he's NAKED. Really. Why? Why me?

And for those keeping score, this is actually the third time he's been in my room since I wrote that it was the seventh. Man, life is unfair. I need SuperNanny. BADLY. WILL GO AND GET BOOK TOMORROW.

What we've been up to...
Just so everyone knows, David is watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse this morning, instead of Dragon Tales (like in the picture) in order for his delinquent mommy to write this blog! However, he just demonstrated that he knows the shape "heart" so I will maintain that he is gaining a vast knowledge of the world from the Disney channel.

Now, we've been busy lately, but unfortunately it has been spent cleaning poop out of underwear. I am practically gagging just thinking about it. So, David is in pull-ups. For all you nay-sayers who say NEVER put him in anything but underwear, he still pees in the potty, but the poo clean-up is considerably less revolting. And the added bonus is that I don't feel the urge to strangle him with the underwear when he has an accident. Also, if he pooped ONCE a day, I would probably not feel this way, however, he pooped 5, yes, FIVE, times yesterday. At least he's regular, right?

In other news, we had friends over last night for homemade pizza and game night. One of the two couples had to leave before the games began, but Christie, Jason, Shelly and I had a BLAST playing Cranium after we got the boys down for the night. Shelly and I hadn't played Cranium before (yeah, I know that's unbelieveable), but we are officially hooked. It is REALLY entertaining. Especially when you get to watch your neighbor and your hubby jump and do the same identical Bionic Man imitation, complete with sound effects. Jason and I both thought if it wasn't Bionic Man then it would be Chariots of Fire (picture running in Slo-mo). Really. It was funny.

I guess we don't sound too busy... I do have a new doula client though. (OK, so I'm a doula, which means that I am a constant companion for women in labor - I do pre-lim childbirth ed. if needed, provide companionship and physical/emotional support during the birth, and breastfeeding help after) My client is VERY young, though she shows uncommon maturity. I'm meeting with her every Thursday at her school, and going to childbirth education class with her every Thursday night. So, that has been somewhat time consuming, but also rewarding.

And today, I have to make brownies and take them to Ft. Sam Houston for a little shindig they're having for the new interns. Wow, am I glad we aren't in internship anymore. Shelly likes his job so much more now, and it's just so nice not to be the new people anymore.

DavidTV 9/11/06

DavidTV 9/11/06
Originally uploaded by lizzybelle_ferrell.

So, finding time for this blogging thing has not been as easy as I thought it would be. However, television has now allowed me the time, by breaking the no more than one hour of TV at a time rule. I totally thought it would be easy to stick by that rule. HA. The joke is definitely on me. And honestly, he seems to learn more in 30 minutes from the TV than from me in a week. Or a year... I mean we've been trying to teach colors for FOREVER, and a few episodes of Bob the Builder later and he knows exactly what color Dizzy is (orange), and can tell me that the ghetto fabulous car out the van window is, in fact, the same color as Dizzy. What the heck?

Additionally, we have exciting news in the royal court of this Larva Queen (no I'm not pregnant): David pooped in the potty. Seriously, after cleaning poop out of underwear for two and a half weeks, he finally went poop in the toilet. The only problem is... he did it for Shelly. Which means there is no guarantee he will do it again today... for me. Pray for me - the poop in the diaper is one thing, the poop in the underwear is a giant challenge for my patience and sanity!!

Oh my Gosh, I have not been able to figure out how to get into this dang thing since Sarah set it up for me, and it has been KILLING me! I mean, we started potty training - I seriously needed an outlet for that frustration. Anyway, I'll post more when I have time, but right now I have a game of tag going around my feet, so that's all for now...

My first posting

Girls Christmas
Originally uploaded by lizzybelle_ferrell.

I'm in Fripp with the girls. Sarah is the best friend ever for showing me how to do this...Sarah might be writing this right now ;)